Sunday, January 31, 2010

Thank God for Friends and Perspective

Inspiration52_large {we heart it}

Today I was sad.  Very sad.  I through two of my new 100% silk tops in the washer and they came out looking like faded, crinkled disasters.  And because I was so sad, I gawked, whined, and ultimately cried.  Yes, I cried.  A real tear actually came out of my tear ducts over two ruined silk tops.  (Yes, I realize this is sad and pathetic.)  Even as the gawking, whining, and crying was happening, I knew only about 10% of it was about the tops.  The other 90% was about struggling to be content on Matt and I’s new buckle-down budget, not being thrilled with the current state of my body, worrying over how much our cross country move is going to cost us this summer, dreading driving back home for another week of school, and having to say goodbye to my family.  I realize now that this 90% of something I need to address, but at the time it was easier to be a big whiney baby about my faded, crinkled silk tops.

To deal with my distress, I called Matt.  I prefaced the conversation with the fact that I knew I was being totally ridiculous, but I needed him to hear me out.  I went on tearfully stating how I’m tired of being a broke grad student, it’s so hard to not eat out and join our friends, have ruined tops, blah blah blah.  (No need to tell me I was being ridiculous, I knew then and know even more now.  I had a moment.)  He listened and then offered a quick fix.  (Men, when will they learn?)  I quickly realized he wouldn’t sympathize with my silk disaster, so I called my best friend Jordan, who is typically one of the first people I call when I need support, to vent, talk about girl things.  She’s the shiz, I love her.  I started to tell her my sad story, and then paused, remembering I was being self-absorbed and ridiculous.  (Sometimes, even when you know you’re being out of control, you still need to vent.  Please tell me I’m not the only person like this.  Please?)  So I stopped and said, “Wait, has anything sad to you happened today?”  Even in my moment of self-absorbed craziness, I realized I should check to make sure I wouldn’t alienate my best friend by crying over a crinkled silk top when she had something serious happened today.  She replied, “Well nothing sad happened today, but something kinda sad happened yesterday.”  I quickly broke out of my self-centeredness (I’m not that bad of a person) and talked with her about what happened.  Her great uncle died.  Here I pause, because I don’t want to tell Jordan’s business and detail the rest of our convo, but can we zoom in on the fact that someone dear to her heart died and I was about to drone on about a stupid silk top.  SERIOUSLY?!  We talked for a while and then said, “So why are you sad, Alli?”  Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm….because…ummmm…nevermind, I am a HORRIBLE person.  We laughed together, and I said there was no way in hell I would tell her my “sad” story after hearing her sad day.  But being the best friend that she is, she swore she wanted to hear and wouldn’t care if it was a lame reason.  And because I kn0w she is my BFF and knows my heart and that I’m not normally a self-absorbed psycho, I trusted she wouldn’t judge me or think I was a horrible person.  So I told her, we laughed, she sympathized, and I felt better.  Then, we got to the 90% of what the tears were really about.  She didn’t judge me or think I was a horrible person.  That’s a real friend.  Let’s you be you (even when its not so attractive), listens, and helps give you perspective.  So while my silk tops are still faded and crinkled, I’m smiling and giving thanks for great friends who help me put stuff in perspective when I get crazy and for the countless blessings that I have.  (Silk, crinkles, and shopping aside, I have clothes on my back, food on my table, and incredibly supportive people in my life.)  That alone is worthy of so much gratefulness, never mind the countless other blessings I have.  So if you’re sweating the small stuff (or the silk stuff), call the friend you love and trust to help you put it in perspective.  Because let’s face it, who doesn’t have those crazy moments where a little perspective is desperately needed?  And that’s what friends are for right?


Norma said...

To address your 10% of sadness ;)

I've run 100% silk tops in the washer before and they came out looking HORRIBLE. BUT, if you take some extra time to iron/steam them they regain most of their shape (just be careful with the heat). They won't be 100% the same, but overall they are still usable. Try it! It can't hurt.

Stephanie said...

We all have moments of crazy. All that matters is you eventually come back to earth and regain perspective. :) the strict budgeting is hard and tiring...we've been there and I cried many tears. It's not fun but it will pay off.

Sophia said...

Awww... you can't imagine how much I respect and admire you for stopping and asking your friend if something sad had happened to her. I have a friend (who calls me her best friend) who every time we talk, goes on and on and on about her life and her problems without ever even asking how my life is. Only when she's done with talking about herself does she ever really asks me what's up with me. It can be really frustrating sometimes when I haven't had such a great day, or I have something going on in my mind that I'd like to share -- instead I end up just LISTENING to her! Not that I wouldn't listen to her, but it really means a lot when someone listens to you too. Haha... sorry about all that b***ing but I just want you to know that your friend definitely appreciates your "un"self-centeredness, trust me, I know.

tam pham said...

Everyone has moments like you had! So great that you have such a great BFF that you can vent to!

PrincessM said...

I've come back 3 times this week to read this... Im having one of THOSE weeks!