Monday, July 25, 2011

The Next Step

Journey{we heart it}

Back in February, I rejoiced over my internship match news and spent an entire weekend celebrating the good news.  The entire process of getting a Ph.D has been exhausting, but my internship has kind of been the light at the end of the tunnel, the signal that I'm almost done with this six year marathon.  (Yes, you read that right, six years.)  Since celebrating back in February, I've been kind of quiet around these parts about internship.  Not because I haven't been excited, not because it isn't a big step, but mostly just because August 1st felt so far away.  Well, summer has come and almost gone, and suddenly August 1st is almost here.

Lots of people have asked me how I'm feeling about the whole thing, particularly the moving two hours away from Matt thing.  And my answer has consistently been, it'll be a challenge, but more than anything, I'm just excited.  Excited to get back to what I love doing, excited to be surrounded by people who are passionate about the field, and excited to resume what I truly believe God intended me do with my life.  (Ok, and I won't lie, I've also been excited about being able to decorate a girly space again!)  Even yesterday as we had dinner with our friend Norma, both Matt and I downplayed the big move, focusing instead on the excitement and the significance of starting and finishing this internship (and this degree.)  But last night, after Matt went to bed, I began to feel a little differently.  As I made lists of what needed to go and what could stay in Chicago, it hit me that I'm moving.  Away from Matt.  As I ordered pictures online, I was reminded that I'm ordering pictures because I won't have Matt there in person and I'll need reminders of the memories we've made together.

When I finally crawled into bed last night, I snuggled up next to Matt and cried.  I cried because I'm going to miss him terribly and because change is hard.  This year, we've established more of a routine and built such a fun little life together.  It will be weird not having that on a daily basis.  And even though I'll be home most weekends, its going to be weird not being with Matt Monday through Friday.  But just as I start to feel completely overwhelmed, I remember my excitement about going back to what I love.  I remember how good it will feel to immerse myself in a job I am truly passionate about.  And I remember that all of this, every tiny piece, is a part of God's plan.  He has carefully crafted this picture for both Matt and I, and with that, I know we'll be just fine.

A week from today, my new adventure begins.  I'm excited, I'm sad, I'm happy, I'm nervous.  But most of all, more than anything, I'm eager to see what God has in store for me on this next little part of my journey...

7 comments:

Tracy-Girl @ Then I Got To Thinking said...

Change is always hard - but you should be proud of yourself for making things happen for yourself! When you are there, you focus on what has to get done M-F, then each weekend, you know you will get to see him! It will be a true test for you guys and yourself - but I have a feeling things will all work out just how they are supposed to!

cheryl denise said...

what is it that you will be doing??

cheryl
a peek of chic

Jamie said...

I am in love with your blog, and am always looking forward to your next post! It is so amazing to see someone seeking after God's will for their life. He will definitely be there for you during the distance!

Glitterista said...

What a beautifully written post. There are such exciting things on the horizon for you. Best of luck with your move (and of course decorating a girly pad), and we can't wait to hear all about it. :)

B said...

What is the field you'll be in??

LaLa's in the Land of Enchantment said...

When I met my husband we were going to the same school and living in the same city. We couldn't be separated for almost two years, straight through our engagement, until I needed to go back to my hometown to take care of family. I had to change schools and move two and a half hours away from College Station to a world far and remote from my husband. We planned the wedding and got to spend two wonderful weeks together for the wedding and honeymoon, and then he had to leave for his internship (he is a PhD too) which was in a whole other state. I think we were apart for a good portion of a year. Even when we were together he had to leave to go out of state for his internship and things. But what got us through, since I have graduated and he is defending end of this month, is the excitement that we went through each week to get to see each other on the weekends. It was almost like dating again, even after we got married, and it helped keep us who we were and not get tired of the traveling to see each other. Constant phone calls helped too. It is very hard at times, but you love Matt so much, and I know he loves you, that this will breeze by. Even when times are tough and that two hours seem like forever, he will still be there waiting for you as you will be waiting for him, its almost romantic to think of. :) Good luck! You will do great!

aub said...

This is so beautifully written! Even though I'm in a long distance relationship, I can't say I know what you and your husband feel. Just hold tight to the moments when you ARE together and look forward to the day that this distance no longer exists! Thoughts are with you :)