Back in February, I rejoiced over my internship match news and spent an entire weekend celebrating the good news. The entire process of getting a Ph.D has been exhausting, but my internship has kind of been the light at the end of the tunnel, the signal that I'm almost done with this six year marathon. (Yes, you read that right, six years.) Since celebrating back in February, I've been kind of quiet around these parts about internship. Not because I haven't been excited, not because it isn't a big step, but mostly just because August 1st felt so far away. Well, summer has come and almost gone, and suddenly August 1st is almost here.
Lots of people have asked me how I'm feeling about the whole thing, particularly the moving two hours away from Matt thing. And my answer has consistently been, it'll be a challenge, but more than anything, I'm just excited. Excited to get back to what I love doing, excited to be surrounded by people who are passionate about the field, and excited to resume what I truly believe God intended me do with my life. (Ok, and I won't lie, I've also been excited about being able to decorate a girly space again!) Even yesterday as we had dinner with our friend Norma, both Matt and I downplayed the big move, focusing instead on the excitement and the significance of starting and finishing this internship (and this degree.) But last night, after Matt went to bed, I began to feel a little differently. As I made lists of what needed to go and what could stay in Chicago, it hit me that I'm moving. Away from Matt. As I ordered pictures online, I was reminded that I'm ordering pictures because I won't have Matt there in person and I'll need reminders of the memories we've made together.
When I finally crawled into bed last night, I snuggled up next to Matt and cried. I cried because I'm going to miss him terribly and because change is hard. This year, we've established more of a routine and built such a fun little life together. It will be weird not having that on a daily basis. And even though I'll be home most weekends, its going to be weird not being with Matt Monday through Friday. But just as I start to feel completely overwhelmed, I remember my excitement about going back to what I love. I remember how good it will feel to immerse myself in a job I am truly passionate about. And I remember that all of this, every tiny piece, is a part of God's plan. He has carefully crafted this picture for both Matt and I, and with that, I know we'll be just fine.
A week from today, my new adventure begins. I'm excited, I'm sad, I'm happy, I'm nervous. But most of all, more than anything, I'm eager to see what God has in store for me on this next little part of my journey...