Thursday, July 8, 2010

Fear

i66RLtlBxqu1xon0hRCq508do1_400_large {we heart it}

I am loving this quote so much this week, because its just so dang true.  Since the day in February when we found out we were moving to Chicago, I have been on a furious job hunt.  I was determined to find a fabulous job in our fabulous new city.  Fast forward four months, and all I’ve got is a big old pile of no’s, “you’re overqualified,” and “we’re not hiring.”  I have an even bigger pile of just never heard a word back.  Its been disheartening, frustrating, and downright confidence shaking.  Because I haven’t finished my Ph.D yet, I can’t really get the job I’ve been going to school for for the last billion years.  So I’ve paced, waited, complained, cried, and all about given up over finding a job, much less a job I actually enjoyed. 

A week before we moved, I got a call from the retail store where I’m currently working.  They loved my application and wanted to know when I could interview in person.  We pulled into Chicago with our U-Haul on Sunday, I interviewed Tuesday, and started work Thursday.  As much as I love the store, they can only take part time associates at the moment, which means I have to stay under 20 hours a week.  Boo.  A double boo because it leaves me absolutely no money to use the fabulously fat discount I get.

But through my bouts of doubt, stress, and frustration, I perused jobs online and continued to apply.  Still, I got more no’s, no thank you’s, and “we’ll call you.”  So last Monday, after a lovely trip to the zoo, I decided I was in good enough spirits to look at jobs for a bit.  I found something interesting online, and though the details were sparse, it sounded pretty cool.  A freelance writer for an editorial company who works on college textbooks, particularly ones in my area of study.  And to make the deal even sweeter, the pay was good.  I thought about it, mentioned it to Matt, then closed my computer realizing sending in my resume would mean hearing another rejection.  I couldn’t do it; I could not fail or be rejected again.  I just couldn’t.  So I sat on it for a few days, until Matt gently encouraged me to just send in my resume, stating I’d be “perfect for the job.”  (That’s what we’d said about the other 845 jobs I’d applied for.)  So, I begrudgingly sent in my resume at 10:45 that night fearing yet another rejection.  When I opened my computer at 9:00 am the next morning, I had a response.  I interviewed a few days later, and Tuesday, I found out…I got the job.

The job is great, though different than what I had in my “perfect little plan” (aka the plan that never works out, and thankfully, because God’s plan is SO much better.)  It pays well, its flexible, and it involves doing something I really love, writing.  But you know what?  I almost didn’t apply for this job.  I almost didn’t send in my resume.  Not because the job didn’t sound fantastic, not because I didn’t want it, but because I was afraid.  Afraid of failure.

So today, I am realizing how powerful the fear of failure can be.  It keeps us from pursuing our dreams, following our passions, and taking risks that may lead to great things.  Today, I am realizing that I almost let my fear of failure keep me down.  And today, I am vowing to push through my fears in the future, no matter how scary they may be.

What is the fear of failure keeping you from doing?

19 comments:

Adorably Distracted... said...

yes yes yes... this is exactly how I have been feeling! And about job things too! I actually just wrote a post on fear yesterday! I needed to hear some hope... thank you!

Mommy Of A Jamexican said...

just thought i would let you know I left ya something on my blog! : )

Ms. Emily Ann said...

Such an inspriational post! Congrats on your new job, it sounds great, and perfect for your life right now!! And props to you for not giving up, it is the hardest time to find a job but it's so great that your determination paid off!

kirstyb said...

such a great quote

Jules said...

I loved this post because I've been feeling the same way about my job search. I'm getting pretty tired of writing cover letters and sending in resumes, which at times seems pointless and never ending.

Thank you for sharing! It gives me some hope that a position I really want can be just around the corner. Good luck in your new job!! Make sure you go out and celebrate!

kaybaby said...

You are an amazing writer Alison and have expressed how we all react from time to time--like "scaredy-cats!" Thanks for sharing from your heart! and Congratulations on the JOB!!

The Conway's said...

Yay! Congrats on the new job...sometimes it's difficult to make that leap but now I bet you're thankful you pushed yourself to send that application!

Lindsay said...

Congratulations on getting the job! That's so awesome! Looking for a job is so not fun (I'm in the process right now - but don't tell my current employers! haha) and it's so exciting when you finally DO get that call back. Best of luck with the new position!!

Laureen D said...

Congratulations on the job!! That is so great, and thank you for the encouraging words. :)

Kinsey Michaels said...

I love your writing!!! Congratulations on the job! I am absolutelynin the same boat as you (before you got said job). I've applied to 21 places, got rejected a couple of times, and I still have hope! That position sounds perfect for you!

RedDirtRevival said...

congratulations!! I love how no matter how many times I try to take control of the situation and end up screwing things up, God's plan still works. He still uses me- broke-down and feaful, He still allows me to thrive when I put my faith in Him.

Way to go, girl. You deserve it.
p.s. stop by the blog today! We're doing a giveaway!

Stephanie said...

Congratulations! Having a new job is exciting... :))

I interviewed over the course of 2 months for ONE measly job at Vanderbilt and flew out there and basically convinced myself I didn't get it .... waited several agonizing weeks and learned I got the job!

I think sometimes God uses timing to teach us some lessons in patience and trust ... :)

trishie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
caknitter said...

Wow, reading your post is like reading my thoughts! I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one that feels this way.
Congratulations for getting the awesome job and for listeniing to the hubby's encouragement.
You have definitely inspired me.
Have a great weekend!

Dave and Terri said...

I hope this post works. I have tried something new. I loved the Fear post. Love, Aunt Terri

TeachingInHeels said...

I know this all too well. I took the leap today and called in about a job too. Thanks for the nudge :)

Congrats on the job!!! Everything really does work out, no matter what we're expecting to happen.

Beatriz said...

Congratulations!! I guess the stars finally aligned or something because I just got a job too! Woohoo for us! Hope y'all are having the time of your lives in Chi town ;)

Bea

Pink Champagne said...

Congratulations on your two new jobs! You are such a fabulous writer, I'm sure you do great! XO

Olivia said...

ugh that's so me right now. God does have SUCH a better plan always. I struggle with surrendering mine-- I feel like every time I do though, in all areas of my life, I leave room for Him to show up and do His thing. Love it.